Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
