Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My pussy is not your playground.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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