fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
