what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
