Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
