she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
