I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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