I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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