I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
