What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize