her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
