I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
