need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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