If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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