Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
