ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
