ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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