I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
