It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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