I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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