Yo dont text me then not text me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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