I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
