I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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