I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
