So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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