They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
