He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
