Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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