Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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