dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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