There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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