is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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