Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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