wrigley field is MILF paradise
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
