i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
