is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
