Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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