i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
