youre lurking in front of me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
