I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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