found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
