I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
