I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize