dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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