Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
