yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
