I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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