...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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