are you so shy because you have an std?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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