bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
