I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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