He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
