It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
