Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou

Replies (60) Good night (3427) Bad night (583)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/vi3x

Replies (32) Good night (10049) Bad night (795)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7

Replies (11) Good night (5926) Bad night (641)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something? http://tfl.nu/j190

Replies (27) Good night (7827) Bad night (1310)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l

Replies (13) Good night (907) Bad night (4908)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college? http://tfl.nu/03bi

Replies (13) Good night (4575) Bad night (828)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v

Replies (7) Good night (2090) Bad night (850)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican. http://tfl.nu/lruh

Replies (21) Good night (1101) Bad night (486)
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question. http://tfl.nu/ellm

Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (1029)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b

Replies (12) Good night (781) Bad night (333)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb

Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (229)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today http://tfl.nu/g1oy

Replies (1) Good night (877) Bad night (245)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke. http://tfl.nu/xwsd

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (295)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey. http://tfl.nu/71bj

Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (192)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help. http://tfl.nu/vra3

Replies (5) Good night (264) Bad night (325)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: