Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

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(260): View more from Indiana

you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.

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