My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
